


The Them Themselves

by SnufkinsBeans



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Just kids being kids, Some canon divergence i guess, i just really love these kids, other characters will appear but it's mostly Them centric, recking havock for every other adult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnufkinsBeans/pseuds/SnufkinsBeans
Summary: Being the soon to be antichrist is fun, but it's even better when you've got your best mates with you.A collection of stories about a couple of kids, and the friends they make along the way.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Brian & Pepper & Wensleydale & Adam Young (Good Omens), The Them & Adam Young (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	1. Not so Great First Impressions

Break times at school were always Adam’s favourite; as soon as the bell rang he was itching to get out the class door, always making sure to pack up extra quickly so he’d be the first one at the swings, his best friends Brian and Wensleydale following after him. Brian and Wensleydale liked break time too. Adam always came up with the best games for them to play, reimagining them as explorers braving ancient ruins, or pirates battling to defend their ship, or astronauts discovering aliens! Despite how fun their games were, quarrels often erupted over who should play who amongst the boys, sometimes because Adam would hog the best character, but often because they were always on person short.

Naturally the boys would find another child to play with them for a bit, but no one they picked seemed to stay for long in their little group for one reason or another, leading right back to square one; which is exactly where they are now.  
“But Wensley can’t be the dragon,” Brian was explaining loudly. “He’s supposed to be asleep!”  
“Well I can’t be the dragon cos I’m the knight,” Adam declared. “And it can’t be you, cos you’re the wizard. We’ll just hafta find someone.”  
The boys were silent as they scanned the playground. Nobody seemed to be a worthy contestant; everyone was either already playing with their own groups or simply weren’t exciting enough to join.  
“Hang on,” Wensleydale pointed over to the sandbox, where a curly-haired girl was sitting. “How about her?”  
Brian tilted his head, intrigued. “She’s new, ain’t she?”  
Adam smiled, seeming excited at the idea of befriending the new person first. “Let’s ask her then.”  
The girl, who had been busying herself with a sandcastle, blinked when there were suddenly three people staring at her with starry eyes.  
“Hello,” Adam grinned at her, easy in his confidence as the leader. “I’m Adam. This is Wensley, and this is Brian.”  
“Hi..” The girl smiled back slowly, as if unsure as to why they were talking to her.  
“Do you wanna play with us?” Brian asked, nearly trampling her sandcastle with his hand.  
“We need an extra player.” Wensleydale chimed in, moving Brian’s hand away in the nick of time.  
“Me?” Said the girl’s brown eyes widened slightly. “Ya mean it?”  
“‘Course,” Adam smiled, the sun bouncing off his blond curls. He seemed warm and inviting, so when he offered his hand to help her up, the girl took it. “What’s your name?”  
The girl brightened, pushing her shoulders back more confidently. “It’s Pippin. Pippin Galadriel Moonchild.”  
There was a very long pause. Then Brian snickered and before long all three boys had descended into hysterical giggles, leaving Pippin very bewildered.  
“What’s so funny?”  
“Your name!” Adam wheezed, clutching at his stomach. “What sort-, sort of name is PIPPIN!?”  
Brian’s face had gone very red, blobby tears seeping out of his eyes. “You sound like a fairy!”  
Even Wensleydale, usually the most composed of the three, was crouched over in laughter. “What a silly name!”  
Pippin looked down at her feet, her face clouded over as her brows furrowed deeply. She clenched her fists at her sides, quiet as the boys’ laughter finally died down. Adam turned to her brightly, his smile faltering at her silence; she wasn’t going to cry, was she? That wasn’t what he wanted at all.  
He exchanged slightly guilty looks with the others before stepping towards her. As soon as he opened his mouth a fist made a sudden connection with his face, making him stumble backwards in shock.  
“That was mean, that was!” Pippin fumed, marching towards them furiously. “That was mean and rude!”  
Brian stepped in front of Adam, who was touching at his face in shock. “Oi, you didn’t have to hit him for it!”  
“Brian wait!” Wensleydale added nervously. “You’re not allowed to hit girls.”  
This was the last straw for Pippin, who lunged with a roar at them both.  
Chaos ensued. There were scrapes, bites and yells from all four, attracting a large group of children watching with some fearful awe, and a couple of teachers who were coming over to see what the kerfuffle was about.  
Brian’s jumper now had holes in it, what remained of Wensleydale’s glasses were being clutched protectively in his hands, and Adam’s shoe had a prominent bite mark indented in it. 

The teachers were gobsmacked, and of course rather angry. Phone calls were made to each child’s parents and all four got a very stern telling off by the headteacher. All four children now sat in at the same table in the dreaded Time Out Room, the boys making sure to sit across from Pippin. She apologised for hurting them; she did feel rather ashamed as both Brian and Wensleydale had been rather tearful about getting in trouble for their broken belongings. The boys apologised for making fun of her, feeling guilty as she had looked very hurt at their laughter. All four had returned home rather sullenly.

A week later Adam, Brian and Wensleydale once again approached a lone Pippin at the sandbox. (Since the incident other children had been rather nervous about approaching her.)  
She seemed surprised that they were here again after so little time, and noted with a pang of guilt that Wensleydale now had new glasses, and there were five stitches in Brian’s jumper.  
She was even more surprised when Adam held his hand out to help her up, hesitantly taking it in hers.  
Adam kept their hands together, looking very seriously into her eyes.”We want you to be friends with us.”  
Pippin balked. “You what? But I-”  
“You already said you were sorry,” Said Wensley, swaying a little nervously. “And we shouldn’t have laughed at you.”  
Brian nodded, a shy grin on his face. “And….it was kinda cool how you got all of us at the same time.”  
“You’d make the perfect dragon.” Adam finished off, beaming at her.  
Pippin blushed, looking at them bashfully. “Are, are you sure?”  
The boys nodded eagerly, dragging her off to their usual spot in the playground, explaining their latest game to her. Pippin was in fact the perfect dragon, and the perfect addition to their group. From that day on the little quartet were practically joined at the hip, becoming known as a boisterous lot to some grown ups, but to everyone else, they were The Them.  
And Pippin soon became known to everyone as the one and only, Pepper.


	2. All That over a Pack of Haribos

“I don’t think Pepper likes me.”  
Brian looked back at Wensleydale baffled, pausing the video game they were playing. “What are you talkin’ about?”  
Wensleydale fidgeted and began to wipe his glasses with his shirt. “I just think that she likes you and Adam more, that’s all. She always makes fun of me. And she smacks me. You’ve got chocolate on your face, by the way.”  
“Ah,” Brian licked his thumb, wiping at chocolate smeared around the corners of his mouth. “You’re thinkin’ too much. Pep does that to everyone.”  
That was true; Wensleydale had often been a spectator of play fights and wrestles between Pepper and the others. Still, he couldn’t help but frown when Pepper made comments about how soft-spoken he was, or how easy he was to beat in a scrap.   
Brian bumped their shoulders together gently, messing up Wensleydale’s hair. “Cheer up, Wens! You know what Pep’s like.” He unpaused the game, glancing at the other boy out of the corner of his eye. “Besides I think she does like you. Just got a funny way of showing it, that’s all.”  
Wensley gave him a small smile. He certainly didn’t find it funny.

A few days later Wensleydale set off for Pepper’s house with a sudden burst of determination; The Them had already planned to meet up at their usual spot later, but if he saw Pepper before hand, got her in a good mood, then surely she’d be more inclined to like him? He even stopped to buy a bag of her favourite sweets (Tangy Haribos) which he clutched to his chest like it was treasure.   
Then he tripped and fell to the ground hard, hissing when he felt the skin on his knees tear and bleed. The laughter that came from behind him made it obvious who was responsible;  
“You idiot! You walked right into that!” Greasy Johnson chortled, looming over him.  
Wensleydale swallowed, shuffling away slightly. “W-What do you want?” He mumbled, cringing at how his voice wavered.   
Johnson snorted, sneering down at him. “Ooh, whatcha got there?” He snatched the bag of sweets out of Wensley’s hands, holding them above him triumphantly.   
“Hey, give them back!” Wensley scrambled to his feet, feebly attempting to grab the bag back.   
“Or what?” Johnson shoved him back roughly, a wide grin on his dumb, sweaty face. “You’re not so tough without your little gang, huh?” He continued to push and shove Wensley until he was on the ground again, laughing in his face. “Huh? You ain’t even fighting back? You scared?”  
To his shame Wensleydale felt tears start to prick in his eyes, his voice shaking. “S-Stop it-”  
“Huh? What did ya say?”  
“He said, stop it.”  
Both boys snapped their heads up to the voice; there was Pepper, her dark brown eyes ablaze with a sort of righteous fury. She marched over towards Johnson, and Wensley had to bite back a smile when he saw him flinch.   
Johnson sneered, squaring his shoulders in an attempt of dominance. “So you need a girl to come save ya, huh?”  
This earned him a hard kick in the shin from Pepper. “This girl is better than you in every way. Not that it’s hard.” She spat, throwing a quick punch at his stomach so he crumpled down. “Give him his sweets back.”  
Johnson gritted his teeth, tossing the bag back an awe-struck Wensleydale, watching from behind Pepper.   
“What? Not gonna fight back?” Pepper mocked, glowering down and Johnson who stared back fearfully with beady eyes. She grabbed the front of his shirt, her eyes intense and blazing. “If you ever, ever, lay a hand on one of my friends again I will beat you to a pulp. And your stupid little gang too. Got it?”   
“O-okay! I got it!”  
“Now say you’re sorry.”  
If looks could kill Pepper would’ve have been battered and bruised, but Greasy Johnson would’ve been dead.   
Johnson scrambled out of her grasp, turning his attention to Wensleydale, jutting his chin up in a feeble attempt to appear confident. “..I’m sorry.”  
Of course it didn’t sound sincere at all, but neither of them had high expectations. With a cold gaze Pepper stalked slowly towards Johnson, who took a few steps back. “Now,” She said in a low, even tone. “Piss. Off.”  
And with one last glare Greasy Johnson took off, leaving Wensleydale and Pepper by themselves.  
Wensleydale fidgeted, clutching the bag of sweets to his chest.   
“Erm, thank you, Pepper.”  
She waved him off dismissively, beckoning him to follow her. He racked his mind for something to fill the silence when Pepper spoke up, startling him out of his thoughts.   
“You gotta learn to fight for yourself, y’know. You can’t let people push you around, ‘specially not Greasy Johnson of all people.”  
Wensley sighed, listening to her once again lecture him about how he needed to be more assertive, not let people walk over him, etc etc. She also gave a very informative talk about the best places to hit someone if you want to leave a mark. 

He was surprised when they arrived at Pepper’s house, sitting himself down on one of the kitchen chairs when instructed. His surprise was joined by confusion when Pepper knelt down and began wiping his knees with a wet wipe rather gently. He winced slightly, the fresh wounds stinging.   
“I hate him,” Pepper fumed quietly, dabbing away the bits of gravel. “He’s just a stupid bully. Bullies just wanna make other people feel like crap because they feel like crap. That’s what my mum says.”  
Wensleydale just watched as she put plasters on both his knees, remaining quiet.  
“You good?”   
“Um, yeah! I’m good.” He spoke softly, still quite taken back. “Did you mean what you said back there? That we’re friends?”  
Pepper cocked a brow. “Yeah? Why would we not be?”  
“Oh,” He fidgeted in his seat.”I thought you found me annoying.”  
“Don’t be stupid.” Pepper frowned. “Why would I hang out with you if I found you annoying?”  
Wensleydale cleared his throat nervously. “I-it’s just, you always seemed to like Adam and Brian more.” He took a deep breath, speaking rather quickly. “I’m not as cool as Adam and Brian are, and I know I drag the group down and, and I rely on you guys too much to get me out of trouble and-”  
He was cut off by Pepper suddenly hugging him. Not a quick, pat-on-the-back sort hug she normally gave, but a deliberate, warm one, that made Wensleydale feel strangely tearful. Slowly, he raised his arms and hugged back. They stayed like that for a few moments before Pepper pulled away, a small smile on her face. Then she flicked him on the head.  
“Ow!” Wensley cried. “What was that for?”  
“For being stupid. You’re s’posed to be the smart one.” Pepper said, very matter-of-fact-ly. “You don’t drag the group down at all, you’re literally the reason we get away with half our pranks!”  
Her eyes softened. “And I think you’re well cool, Wens, and I know Adam and Brian do too.”   
Wensleydale adjusted his glasses, looking bashful. “Really?”  
“Really. And we got your back whenever you’re in trouble, doesn’t matter how many times.”  
He smiled, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Thanks, Pepper.”  
Pepper rolled her eyes, looking off to the side a bit bashful herself now. “It’s whatever. Don’t go all mushy on me now.”  
Wensleydale laughed brightly, grabbing the bag of sweets from the table that had since been forgotten. “I got these for you, by the way.”  
Pepper grinned. “Wicked! Do you wanna eat ‘em together?”

Brian flashed Wensleydale a knowing smile when he arrived at the woods with Pepper, mouthing “I told you so!” when no one was looking. Wensleydale simply shook his head, happy and secure in the fact that his friends loved him, and he loved them. Pepper still harped on about him needing to be more confident, insisting that every Friday after school he go to her house so she could show him how to really pack a punch. By the end of the month he could swing a solid right hook, which he demonstrated on Greasy Johnson next time he came looking for trouble, much to the shocked delight of Adam and Brian, and of course to a very proud Pepper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we all need a friend like Pepper to be honest.


	3. Uniform Troubles

It was just past three o’clock; school had just ended and the streets were full of students on their phones, chatting by the bus stops, or whipping at each other with their ties. The sky was a lovely shade of pale blue, and the warmth of the sun made everyone’s faces flush a delightful shade of red. Adam smiled to himself, tugging his tie off and stuffing it in his pocket; if it got any hotter they could probably go to the beach soon. (Of course as this was the wish of the soon to be antichrist, the weather made a mental note of this for later).  
Adam was however, starting to get a bit impatient standing around the gates when the weather was so nice and raised a brow at Wensleydale and Brian. “Where’s Pep? She’s normally here by now.”  
The boys shrugged, and before either could say anything, Pepper burst out of the school building, marching towards them looking very upset, the boys’ interest instantly piqued.   
Brian snickered, gesturing at her legs. “What’s happened here?”  
The others looked; had it not been for her belt holding her trousers up halfway up her torso, Pepper would’ve had to hold them up to make sure they didn’t fall.  
Pepper scowled at him, pulling at the waistline. “Mrs Anderson made me wear them. It was either this or _a girl’s skirt_.” Her lips curled up at that, as if it was a bad word.  
Adam cocked a brow at her, motioning with a nod for them to start walking. “Ain’t all skirts girl’s skirts?”  
“Nah, I’m pretty sure scottish dudes wear skirts.” Brian said confidently, much to Wensleydale’s dismay.  
“ _Actually_ , those are called kilts-”  
“ _Anyways_.” Pepper interjected. “I was wearing shorts before, remember? But apparently that’s just too much for school to handle, cos I got detention for a uniform violation!”  
“Well, shorts aren’t a part of the uniform, Pepper.” Said Wenselydale.  
“They jolly well should be!” She shot back. “I mean, it’s nearly summer for God’s sake! And I don’t wanna be in a stuffy classroom wearing their stupid, stiff trousers for the whole day.”  
The boys hummed in agreement.  
“Shorts would be nice, I reckon.” Brian mused, wrapping his tie around his head to keep his fringe off his face. “Then there’d be somethin’ else for everyone to choose from.”  
“Exactly! My whole table in chemistry said the same thing too!” Pepper beamed at him, but the crease between her brows soon returned. “Only thing is they wouldn’t listen when I said that.”  
“We could write a letter to the head.” Wensleydale suggested. “I bet we could get others to sign it too.”  
They turned expanctly to Adam, who tilted his head the way he often did when considering something. “I reckon we’ll need some help. Your mum would probably know what to do, Pep.”  
The others nodded in agreement, setting course for Pepper’s house. Her mother was held in high regard, being one of the few people over twenty deemed as cool by the gang. She was also one of the few people over twenty that wouldn’t scold them for whatever outlandish ideas they came to her with, instead opting to advise them to the best of her ability before sending them off with a wink and warning to not get caught.

Pepper’s mother was only momentarily surprised when the small gaggle of kids turned up at her door and beckoned them; She was more than happy to be of assistance, set down a plate of chocolate biscuits for them as they described their dilemma.   
“Well, a letter is a good idea.,” She told them, swirling her tea about in its mug. “But you’re gonna need more than that if you want to be listened to. You gotta make a statement, do something they can’t ignore.”  
At their conspiring glances she quickly added: “That won’t immediately land you in detention, _again_.” She shot a pointed look at Pepper, causing the boys to snicker.  
“But what can we do?” Brian asked through a mess of crumbs. He attempted to wipe them away but only succeeded in smearing more chocolate around his mouth.  
“Have a protest, of course.” Pepper’s mother smirked, very akin to how her daughter did, leaning forward slightly as if telling them a secret. “Cause a ruckus to get their attention, then bust out your letter.”  
“We could make signs!” Adam grinned, eyes brightening. “‘Give us shorts, or give us death!’”  
Wensleydale frowned. “Maybe not death.”  
“We could die of heat exhaustion though!” 

They spent the next few minutes bouncing ideas off each other and had gone through a whole pack of biscuits before it was time for them to go. (Though it should be mentioned Wensleydale only had four as he didn’t want to ruin his appetite for dinner.) The boys said goodbye to Pepper and her mum and began their walk home, still muttering between themselves.  
“I do find it strange that shorts aren’t allowed.” Wensley thought aloud. “Surely if so many students want them, they should be added.”  
“I did ask my tutor ages ago why we couldn't wear em’.” Said Brian, scratching at his nose. “She just said I should wear a skirt if I was really that bothered by it.”  
Adam stopped in his tracks with a gasp, whirling around to smack Brian’s shoulder. “That’s it! Bri, you’re a genius!”   
Brian and Wensleydale blinked blankly at him.  
“ _I am_?”  
“ _He is_?”  
Adam grinned at them. “We’ll wear skirts! All the boys- we can get the whole school involved! We’ll write that letter and get the _whole school_ to sign it, then we’ll all march to the Head’s office to give her the letter! She’ll hafta listen to us then.”  
Brian cocked his head. “Won’t we get in trouble?”  
“We shouldn’t. There’s no rules against boys wearing skirts.” Said Wensleydale slowly, not seeming to like the idea of getting scolded. “But if we get enough people involved we’ll have strength in numbers, too.”  
“Exactly.” Adam said, now coming to a stop in front of his house looking rather determined. “Alright, we’ll meet tomorrow at our spot. Wensley, you can work on the letter. Bri, make sure to bring your paints. I’ll message Pepper so she knows what’s up.”  
Brian and Wensleydale nodded eagerly, almost akin to soldiers receiving their orders.  
Satisfied, Adam nodded back, a grin slowly forming on his face. “Great! I’ll see ya tomorrow.”  
And so a plan was taking shape within the minds of The Them; Wensleydale felt rather important having been tasked with writing the letter, and Brian was more than happy to get messy making signs. Adam had taken it upon himself to rummage through his sister’s closet, deciding she wouldn’t miss a skirt or three, and also rearranged some things about in her room; this did not affect The Plan in any shape or form, but it would tick Sarah off when she got home. Taking care to stay in his room to avoid the wrath of said sister, Adam very excitedly told Pepper The Plan over the phone, feeling rather proud when it got her seal of approval.  
“Not only will wearing skirts call out this uniform injustice,” She had said passionately. “But you’ll be subverting gender expectations too!”  
Adam didn’t really know what she was going on about, but Pepper seemed happy and that was good enough for him.

The next couple of days were dedicated to perfecting The Plan; the letter was written and rewritten and rewritten again until it was deemed perfect, signs were made with big bold letters in bright colours, (“Don’t you think the signs are a bit much?” Wensley had asked. “No way!” Pepper retorted indignantly. “Wearing shorts is a fundamental human right, Wens!”). And of course the word was spread. The Them wrote on the walls of the bathroom stalls, whispered to the kids sitting next to them in class, who would then tell their friends at break, who would tell their siblings in the upper years, who would either scoff or grin at the idea, until soon the whole school was holding its breath until the big day.  
On that day, a Monday to be exact, almost every boy had gotten his hand on a skirt, and, being cheered on by sisters and friends, bared their knobbly knees in alliance with The Them. Wensleydale was rather proud of himself, as his letter had many sheets of paper hastily stapled on for people to write their signatures, with even some teachers jotting their names down.  
It was an all-day event, and, after being told to stop running about with their signs, The Them finally went to the Head’s office, where they were waiting outside her door nervously.  
“Oh, we’re gonna get in trouble, aren’t we?” Wensleydale paced, constantly looking back at the door that remained ominously closed. “I knew it. And I look ridiculous in this, don’t I?”  
“Oh, shut up.” Pepper snapped. “We ‘aven’t done anything wrong. And you look fine, quit yapping.”   
“Easy for you to say.” He frowned back. “You’re not even wearing a skirt!”  
“That would defeat the whole point of me doing this, wouldn’t it?”  
“ _Both_ of you quit your yapping.” Adam frowned, causing Pepper and Wensley to obey reluctantly.   
Before anything else could be said, a voice much more authoritative than Adam’s beckoned them into the Head’s office, who greeted them all politely as they sat down in front of her desk.  
“I expected it would be you lot behind this.” She said, looking at them over her glasses. “I suppose this was your idea?” An eyebrow was raised at Adam.  
“‘S was more of a group effort, really.” He shrugged.   
This earned him a rare smile. “Well, I can tell you have had your fun, but let’s get down to business, yes? Which one of you wrote this letter?”  
“T-That would be me, Miss!” Wensleydale stammered.  
The Head leaned forward in her chair, causing Wensleydale to fidget under her stare.  
“It was wonderfully written, Jeremy.” Her gaze softened at his relief and delight, and she turned her attention to the rest of the group. “I’ll have to call for a meeting with the governors, but I don’t see why your request for an addition to the uniform should be denied.”  
The faces of The Them lit up, all of them starting to thank her before they were cut off with a wave of her hand.  
“It’s quite alright children. Though you do realise next time you have a suggestion, you can come to me without causing a whole ruckus?”   
“You have to admit it was more fun this way though, wasn’t it?” Said Pepper, causing the Head to chuckle, much to their surprise.   
“I will admit I found this day entertaining. And I’m sure this isn’t the last time I’ll be seeing you all here.”  
The children smiled and giggled between themselves, their comradery high along with their spirits.   
There was even a smile on the Head’s face too. “You’re dismissed. Enjoy the rest of the day, children and -for goodness’ sake- _stay out of trouble._ ”  
“Not makin’ any promises, Miss!” Brian said cheekily before rushing out the door, the rest of The Them quickly following suit in a fit of laughter down the corridors.

The Head was true to her word; a week later it was announced that tailored shorts were now officially part of the school uniform, much to the delight of all the students, and The Them had celebrated with cake and ice cream provided by Pepper’s mother.  
The day after the announcement, Pepper had dressed for school excitedly, of course sporting her school-approved shorts as she hopped down the steps and outside to meet with the others.  
She smiled upon seeing Brian and Wensleydale, also wearing shorts, but after a few minutes of waiting raised a brow at them. “Is Adam ill or somethin’?”  
As if summoned, a shout from further down the street alerted them to Adam running to catch up with them with his bag slung haphazardly over his shoulders. They laughed and beckoned him over, waiting for him to catch his breath until Brian asked, not unkindly;  
“You’re still wearing a skirt, mate?”   
“Yeah,” Adam shrugged, but looked back at them with what seemed to be nervousness in his eyes. “I just like ‘how it feels.That’s all.”  
“Oh alright, then.” Brian smiled, Pepper and Wensleydale also nodding their approval.   
Adam blinked, a small smile on his face. “Alright?”  
“‘Course it’s alright.” He slung an arm around Adam’s shoulders in a headlock, causing a friendly scuffle between the two.  
“We’re gonna be late, y’know.” Pepper rolled her eyes, trying to hide the smile on her face. “And you know Mr Davids _hates_ it when people are late.”  
“Speaking of,” Wensleydale chimed in, walking alongside her. “What did you guys write for that sheet he gave us?”  
Brian abruptly stopped ruffling Adam’s hair. “ _What sheet_?”  
“Oh _come on_ , Brian.”  
“I forgot! It ain’t my fault!”  
Adam couldn’t help but grin as they all sped off to school, any worries he had before now slipping away. Nobody said anything about him choosing to wear a skirt that day, though they did get a thorough scolding from Mr Davids on tardiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you're the antichrist you can wear whatever the hell you want.


	4. SleepOvers

Being told that you shouldn’t do something always made it more alluring, especially if you were eleven years old.   
Of course The Them did lots of things they were told not to; trespassing on Mr Tyler’s property, getting their clothes muddy, fighting with Greasy Johnson’s gang, not tucking their shirts in at school...But it wasn’t their fault that the “wrong” thing was always the most fun. Especially now, at nine in the evening at Adam’s house, when they just told Mr Young they were going to watch disney movies.  
“I don’t know about this,” Said Wensleydale, nervously eyeing a dvd case. “It says it’s rated fifteen.”  
“We’re only three away from that.” Pepper said, snatching the case out of his hands. “The cover doesn’t even look that bad.”   
Brian, who was lounged comfortably on the couch, craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the dvd, his hands already in the popcorn bowl. “We don’t have to watch if you don’t wanna, Wens.”   
Wensleydale shook his head, tilting his chin upwards slightly as if to appear braver. “No, I’ll watch it. It’s probably poorly made anyway.”   
“Then at least it’ll be funny.” Adam chimined from behind the television, finally figuring out how to hook the dvd player up to the tv. “Right, hand it over ‘ere..”   
The dvd player started up with a whir as The Them took their respective seats on the couch, a large blanket covering their legs.   
There were shushed giggles as the movie started, the large title font flashing across the screen as the popcorn bowl was passed around. There were a group of kids just like them though maybe a bit older, and a pact with a creature beyond their comprehension. There were jumpscares and jarring music, blood, guts and murder and plot twists and screams; Their eyes were perpetually fixed the screen, wide and frightened.   
During it all they had unknowingly huddled tightly together; Brian had spilt nearly all the popcorn from his jumpiness, and Wensleydale squeaked and clasped Pepper’s hand (or maybe she had grabbed his), and Adam had clutched a cushion so hard to his chest some of the beads popped off and joined the forgotten puffs popcorn on the floor.   
Finally it was over, and they all discreetly let go of the breaths they’d been holding in.  
Adam solomny turned the tv off before facing the rest of them, completely deadpan. “That was pretty stupid.”  
There was immediately a chorus of agreement as they shuffled away from each other, criticising the effects, the acting, whatever they could focus their attention on.   
  
It wasn’t long before Mr Young came in to tell them they’d been up for long enough and should really get to bed now, ushering the reluctant children upstairs to freshen up. They all spent a little longer than necessary brushing their teeth before climbing into their respective beds. Well, their respective mattresses on the floor of Adam’s room.(Adam also had his mattress on the floor for the night, as it wouldn’t be fair in his opinion, to literally put himself above his friends)   
Mr Young bid them all good night before switching the light off, leaving them with only darkness and their very active imaginations.   
“Er, not that I’m scared or anything.” Brian whispered to vague silhouettes of his friends. “But demons and monsters and stuff don’t actually exist, right?”   
There was a pause. The preteen ages of ten and eleven had their downfalls; whilst certain creatures like fairies and unicorns had long been dismissed as silly by The Them, the jury was still out in regards to supernatural monsters, especially as they made regular appearances in their games. However such monsters were much easier to handle in daylight where you could easily slay them with a sword, not so much in the dark where they could be lurking in every shadow.   
Wensleydale finally broke the silence. “‘Course not. At least, not in Tadfield. I’ve never seen one.”   
“Just cos you can’t see something doesn’t mean it ain’t there.” Pepper hissed back, her eyes darting around the dark room. “There could be demons in here right now.”   
Brian gulped, shuffling closer towards Pepper whilst trying to act like he wasn’t. “But why would they be here?”   
“Because they’re evil. You saw the movie.” Pepper whispered with a certain confidence, as if she was well-versed in the topic. “They probably want to eat us, or torture us and then eat us.”   
“Oh, can you shut up about it!” Adam snapped, a little too loud for comfort. Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale felt vaguely aware of a strange feeling, as if words were getting stuck in their throats. It wasn’t a strong feeling, akin to a tickle in the throat that wouldn;t go away no matter how much water you drank. They couldn’t have kept the topic going, even if they wanted to; however, none of The Them were aware of this fact.  
Adam meanwhile, was nervous that he’d spoken too loudly and awoken his parents. When no-one came, Adam let out the breath he’d been holding, aware of the three pairs of eyes still watching him.  
“It’s just- well, if you don’t want to be tortured and stuff, you shouldn’t be talking about them. If they know you’re scared of them, they’re bound to pop up then.”   
There were a few mumbles and shrugging of shoulders as the other agreed.   
“Makes sense.” Brian whispered, nestling down into his mattress. “Let’s talk about somethin’ else then.”   
Wensleydale perked up, seizing the opportunity to talk about his new interest. “Oh, I finished a new book series last week!”   
“‘zat the one with the magical tree?”  
Pepper quirked a brow. “A magical tree?”  
“Actually, the tree is more like a portal. You see, in the first book..”   
Adam smiled to himself as Wensley started to rant about the series, stifling laughs when Pepper or Brian would interject to make a wry comment about a character or the plot. He wasn’t sure why he’d begun to feel so uncomfortable before, as if his friends were talking about him behind his back, unaware that he could hear them.   
But that doesn’t make sense, Adam thought, they were just talking about the movie, make believe stuff. He shook his head slightly, deciding to focus on his friend’s voices, finding comfort in how they spoke softly into the dark, their words lingering around him like a warm blanket.

Then the warmth started to become stifling, wrapping around him too tightly for comfort. Adam coughed and sputtered, blinking his eyes open only to be met with hollowing darkness engulfing him. He desperately reached out blindly with his arms, letting out a small cry when he seemed to turn in the air, as if floating in water. Adam had dreamt of floating before, of soaring through the air with the wings of an eagle, or swimming through the galaxies so he could touch the stars; but he couldn’t seem to do that now. Even when he moved it didn’t feel like he was going anywhere, and when he cried out for help nobody answered and the warmth get growing and growing and-  
“You could do it too, if you wanted to.”   
A boy who looked a lot like him sat on a patch of grass which seemed untethered to any sort of ground. The stifling heat had suddenly subsided and The Boy smiled at him kindly. Had he always been there?   
Adam blinked at him. “Do what?”   
“Control things, make them how you want them to be. Like in your movie.”   
At this he put his hand to the grass, pressing into it for a second before lifting it to reveal a tiny humanoid figure made of dirt. “Come, sit with me.”   
Adam sat on the end of the grass patch furthest away from The Boy, watching him curiously. “What do you mean? I can’t do magic like that  
"It's not magic." The Boy smiled patiently, akin to a teacher to a young pupil. "It comes naturally to me. And to you as well."   
The humanoid creature circled Adam curiously, clambering onto his legs, causing him to laugh.  
"I dunno what you're going on about." He said, putting his hand down for the creature to climb on. "I can make stuff up, like games and stuff for my friends to play, but I can't do what you did."   
The Boy watched him, making more of the creatureS pop out of the grass; Adam set the one in his hand down and it ran to join the others, hugging and dancing with them.  
"You like them?" The Boy asked, regarding him with cool green eyes.   
Adam nodded, watching the creatures play; there was a little ball being kicked around by them in a minature game of football, and they even had their own teams.   
"They are like people, in a way." Said The Boy. "Made from the earth."  
Adam wrinkled his nose. "I ain't made of dirt!"   
The boy laughed a peculiar laugh; it was robotic in a sense, as if he was mimicking a sound he'd heard, but hadn't made of his own accord before.  
A squabble had broken out between the little creatures in front of them; three of the creatures were squealing and pushing at each other, getting increasingly more aggressive as the others watched on, worried. Adam frowned, wondering if he should push them away from each other with his finger.  
"No, you're not. You're much more mighty than a mere human."  
With no warning the Boy reached out and crushed the squabbling creatures under his hand, causing Adam to cry out in shock.   
"Wh- You killed them!"   
The Boy blinked at him. "They were being disruptive."   
"You didn't have to do that!" Adam yelled, feeling that warmth creep up his neck again. "You coulda stopped 'em without hurting 'em!"  
He reached out towards the remaining creatures, who now shook with tears, and tried to pull them away from the Boy, only to lose his footing and stumble, his hand smearing them onto the grass.  
"Why are you crying?" The Boy asked. "We can make more, if you want."  
"It won't be the same!" Adam's voice trembled as he scrambled away from the boy, staring at his stained hand. "It won't be the same people! You killed them!"  
"They were given life, and they made a mockery of it. Don't cry, Adam, you shouldn't get too attached. Think of all the things you could make, much better than beings made of dirt."  
Adam covered his ears, the Boy's voice seemed to multiply, as if he was in a stadium full of people. "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He screwed his eyes shut, tears seeping hot down his face as he once again felt stifled, choked. "Leave me alone! I don't wanna play with you anymore!"   
The Boy was saying something, he could hear the hum of those overlapping voices but wouldn't listen to what they were saying, willing himself to be anywhere but here-!

"Adam!"

With a gasp he awoke, staring at the concerned faces of his friends, illuminated by a small lamp.  
"You okay?" Brian had his hands on his shoulders; he'd been trying to shake him awake.   
Adam blinked at him, opening his mouth but not saying anything.  
"You were having a nightmare," Said Wensleydale, squinting in the dim light.   
"And you were crying." Pepper added, touching his cheek lightly, her fingers coming back slightly damp. "What happened?"  
"I..Don't remember. Just that it was bad." And it was true; Adam vaguely remembered a strong unpleasant feeling, but not what, or who, caused it.  
"Oh well, it's done now." Brian declared, pulling Adam in for a hug which was happily returned.   
"I once dreamt I was a jellyfish," Said Wensley, deciding to worm under Brian's arm to join the hug. "And that I collected water pears in a box."  
Pepper shot him a quizzical look, wrapping an arm around Brian and Adam. "Water pears?"  
"Pears that grow in water."  
Adam snickered, his chest feeling warm; the pleasant sort of warmth that only came from having good friends. Even after they broke the hug they stayed close together, whispering to each other about weird dreams and anything else that came to mind until they started to feel tired again, settling back on their mattresses.   
"You good now, mate?" Brian whispered, reaching to bump Adam's hand with his own.   
"Yeah," Adam mumbled, his eyes already starting to close. "Bloody tired, though."  
The others giggled, shushing each other until they started to drift off back to sleep.  
Adam slept soundly, wrapped up in his blanket, his dreams pleasant and undisturbed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow what a sudden change in tone haha.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So The Them are my favourite characters from Good Omens, and I just wanted to show them a bit of love. :)  
> I'm also planning for other characters to feature in their shenanigans too, so stay tuned!  
> I hope you all enjoy!


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